up;

really; i did not ask for that dream to happen.

honestly i didn't even ask for you to happen.

i am really tired;

physically and emotionally;

always be my baby;

You'll always be a part of me,
i'm part of you indefinitely
time can't erase a feeling this strong;

whatever;
i am never sleeping at 5 again;

mind you; a.m.

can i tell you a secret?

i have never prayed;
but tonight i am on my knees;

dear lord;
i am sorry for what i did,
please, bring her back wherever she is,

thank you lord; for answering my prayers in a way;

those black dark eyes;

once again its happening again; posting here more often than my main blog;
and this time its not about you; it was never always about you.

if you want to play this game;
we'll play it, but let me remind you;
What Kah Ee wants; is what Kah Ee gets.
and now; Kah Ee wants to win you in this game;

then again; posting something here seems so stupid;

by the time;

when the time comes; i will know what happen.
things like those never goes right; i am afraid;
but what i am scared more is. if it goes well;
i'm afraid that i will be leaving this place for good;
afraid that i am-
not gonna have A's cupcake; S's violence; E's Reality; J's company;
everything is never going to be the same; even with talking online 24 hours;
things change , i know because i was the change.


i pray and hope hard that it will workout; maybe change isn't that bad;
but i promise you god; if things goes as planned. this will be my second chance;
i promise i would forget him for good; i promise that i will make my days worth.
i promise it will be tears of joy that my parents shed; and never tears of anguish;
i promise. i promise. i promise that hatred will never be apart of my life.

2 months; 2 months i will know.

this is it, change; hopefully.

hear you me;

17 days; it seems like an eternity why?
holding back tears that threatened to fall;
never once in 17 days i felt this weak, this vulnerable.


i want you to be happy, and i thought you want the same for me.

i'm sorry i ever started this 'war'
right now im pulling up the white flag.
this. shall forever be a silent reverie.
a day dream that would not come true.